The Crazies (2010)

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Director Breck Eisner

Stars Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson

Things You Might Like

• Leave-your-brain-at-the-door entertainment
• Visually stunning (if you call gore ‘stunning’)
• Suitable performances
• Perfect for conspiracy buffs and gorehounds

Things You Might Not Like

• Pacing a bit awkward
• Character development no more than ‘Hi, my name is _____.’
• Too much talking, not enough violence!

Conclusion
Never has a car wash been more terrifying, but don’t expect buckets of blood.

3 out of 5 satirical zombies

Jonathan David Lim

***

I really have no idea how to open this review. I could probably spout facts about the film- it’s a remake; George A Romero is executive producer, so that makes it okay; director Breck Eisner made Sahara a few years ago, a film I didn’t see, and is on board to helm the Flash Gordon update – but then I’d be in jeopardy of boring you to death. Well, let’s see what I can do anyway.

Welcome to Ogden Marsh, a small town in Iowa where the locals are friendly and hospitable. They aren’t completely detached from the rest of the world: Sheriff Dutton (Olyphant) owns a reasonably up-to-date mobile phone, and the townsfolk seem to know what the Internet is all about. Everyone’s as comfortable as cats in the sun. That is, til one seemingly drunk individual brings a loaded shotgun to a baseball field.

Things begin to spiral out of control from there, as more and more people go berserk. When the military comes storming in, guns ablaze, it’s up to Sheriff Dutton to rescue his pregnant wife Judy (Radha Mitchell). With the aid of Deputy Russell Clank (Joe Anderson), they escape a government coup and head to the nearest town, dodging crazies along the way.

As can be predicted, party members are shot, stabbed, and beaten. Not everybody makes it to the end. But in this case, the predictable plot is a desirable quality. The Crazies isn’t meant to be taken seriously, something too many modern horror film remakes try to push on its audience. Eisner wants you to cringe when Dutton almost loses his junk, and give a hearty guffaw when a missile destroys his last means of escape. This is the stuff of popcorn thrillers.

There may be a slight sense of social commentary buried somewhere in here. It can be reasonably assumed that the denizens of Ogden Marsh are patriotic Republicans, which only adds to the pain felt when their faith in government is shattered by the raucous presence of the USMC. Paranoia is a central theme in The Crazies, playing on the sentiments felt in the early-Seventies when people were terrified of chemtrails and falling nukes, which is referenced early in the film.

The same argument could be made about social paranoia, and fear of disease. Hell, if anything the films boils down to a fear of the unknown. However, I don’t really think that’s what Eisner is really pushing for here. Sure it’s frightening to think that Jeff from down the road could snap at any given moment and come at you with a razor. There’s plenty of that here, if a little underdeveloped. (That being said, character development is almost nonexistent.) But in the end, The Crazies is leave-your-brain-at-the-door entertainment, plain and simple. Don’t attempt to read too much into it; you won’t find anything.

If you like gore and violence and feeling as on-edge as you can stand, then you’ll definitely want to catch The Crazies. Be warned, however, that with clunky pacing and more dialogue than action, it may be something of a slow experience.

There. How was that?

Buy The Crazies from Amazon