Clash of the Titans 3D (2010)

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Titans Will Clash...Will Clash Titans...Clash, Titans Will

Dir Louis Leterrier

Stars Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Ralph Fiennes & Liam Neeson.

Things You Might Like

• Angry Ancient Greek gods
• Man v monsters
• Neeson & Fiennes might well be gods

Things You Might Not Like

• Rushed script and action
• Dialogue clangs louder than Perseus’ sword
• No tension
• Less 3D than a spoon in your eye

Conclusion
An epic quest reduced to a stumbling chase. Noticeable lack of actual 3D in this 3D film.

2 out of 5 dimensions

Luke McGrath

***

Clash of the Titans was destined to struggle in many ways. While its 1981 predecessor isn’t great, it has a lot of heart and has become a family movie favourite. Where the ’80s had the final magic of Ray Harryhausen’s creatures, this has underwhelming CGI beasties. In fact, the most annoying thing from the original, mechanical owl Bubo, raises the biggest smile in 2010.

Greek mythology on screen is rarely sacred and the film diverges from what we’ve known before. Luckily, we have Io (Arterton), an ageless narrator, to keep us up to speed. Perseus (Wothington) is a demi-god and son of Zeus (Neeson). He becomes man’s talisman in their uprising against the cruel gods. Quickly accepting his fate, Perseus finds outs he’s great at killing monsters and does so frequently. Back in Argos, a princess will be sacrificed to Hades’ (Fiennes) terrifying sea creature ‘The Kraken’ unless Perseus can stop it.

That’s a great deal of plot to get through. Unfortunately, what should have been an epic Lord of the Rings style journey is condensed to a quick chase across the ancient world.’ Days pass in seconds with only a cursory mention by a minor character to keep us up to speed.’ Perseus manages to skip to the ‘exciting’ bits, leaving us without a developed character to fear for.

The same is true for the exciting bits themselves. They too seem rushed, fights spill of the screen but not how you’d think. Instead of ‘coming right at us!’ they scramble off the side of the screen, leaving the camera whirling to keep up. It becomes hard to tell who’s fighting, who’s winning and who’s dying. Fortunately after each battle there’s a character on hand to mention the body count and remind us who we should be missing.

While the designers have done a fantastic job creating Olympus, too little time is spent there. Zeus and Hades are by far the movie’s most compelling characters and their rivalry is the only story we care for. This truly five star part of the film is relegated to a sideshow. Even more of the good work is done when you compare the detailed costumes of the Gods against Persues’ buzz-cut.

Which brings us to the galling lack of 3D. We know that 3D is new enough to wow audience’s in films that otherwise lack drama, tension and good dialogue (thank-you Avatar). Yet this wasn’t meant to be a 3D film, it was retro-fitted with 3D to compete at the box office. The question is, where was the retro-fitting done? Monsters and fights flail by without so much as jolt off the screen. Before long, you’re left wondering when the 3D will turn up rather than paying attention. Maybe they’re saving it for the final battle against the Kraken? No, they’re not.

Clash isn’t a cynical remake of a classic. It’s a rush-job of a much loved and heartfelt movie. 2010 has sucked the drama and tension out of an epic quest by reducing scenes to five minutes. It’s marketed as trendy 3D without a thought for quality or storytelling. Worst of all it reduces those mighty gods, Fiennes and Neeson, to tiny roles that hint at a much better film.

Buy Clash of the Titans from Amazon